and the award goes to

my brother recently accepted a job about which he said: "i would call this a dream job but i didn't know to dream for a job like this."

sometimes you don't know something is a dream until it comes true.

i have often said that theatre is an addiction, not a profession.  i have also said many times that the first thing we all hear in the first class we take is: "if you can be happy doing anything else, do it."  we don't work in this industry because it makes us happy. we work in this industry because we couldn't be happy doing anything else. it's really a sickness. if you have a normal job, if you are happy doing anything else, you should consider yourself lucky.

as a theatre addict, i knew i had to do it - i had to be involved in this business. i first found my way in as an actor when i didn't know there were other options for me. later i found stage management, which i loved and will always consider myself to be a part of (i now say i'm a recovering stage manager. just like an alcoholic, i'll never stop being one, i just don't actively do it anymore). then came marketing and now producing.  i like producing a lot, i think it's one that could stick for a while, particularly at my current company because i adore it.

missing in all of this, though, were your typically awarded categories of theatrical employment (with the possible exception of producing but i've never had a real yen to do that on the broadway level).  i was a terrible actor. i can't draw or design to save myself.  i thought maybe i wanted to be a director at some point but that was a fleeting goal at best.  i've never been particularly compelled to write a play.  i was always much more drawn to the behind the scenes work. being a part of it without being in the spotlight.

what i'm saying is that "attending the tony awards" was not a dream i ever had because i didn't know to dream for it.

(continued after the jump...)